Ecumenical Ministry for the Unity of All Religions: February 2014

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

5 Reasons You're Stuck Where You Are

1. You’ve given in to your fears. – If you’re doing big things and pushing for your dreams, you are bound to encounter situations that scare you and make you feel uncomfortable. So what. Move forward with gusto. Remember that the extent to which we sometimes allow fear to rule our lives is truly startling and unnecessary. Especially when you consider one very important fact about fear: It’s a total figment of your imagination.

2. You’ve become accustomed to negativity.– It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. The biggest wall you must climb is the one you have built in your mind. If you don’t control your attitude, then it will control you. Negative feelings are like weeds; if you don’t fully extract their roots, they will keep coming back. So take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative people, places, things, and habits. Don’t give up, and don’t give in to consuming the garbage these negative sources are trying to feed you.

3. Your priorities are upside down. – No one is “too busy” in this world. It’s all about priorities. What you focus on grows. Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc..

4. You’re still looking for the easy road. – Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you. And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason – for experience or a lesson. A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.

5. You keep worrying about a life situation that no longer exists. – Sometimes being strong and moving on are the only choices you have. There are some things in life that you may never completely get over. The best you may be able to do is get through them slowly. But that’s okay. The struggle forward is worth the effort. It’s okay to not have all the answers yet. In fact, you’ll never have ALL the answers. Just continue the journey, focus on the present, do your best, and trust the process.

Monday, February 24, 2014

15 Powerful Beliefs that Will Free You from Negativity

What other people say about me is their problem, not mine. – Don’t take other people’s negativity personally. Most negative people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they interact with. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality. Even when a situation seems personal – even if someone insults you directly – it oftentimes has nothing to do with you. What others say and do, and the opinions they have, are based entirely on their own self-reflection.
I am free to be ME. – Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be? Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to everyone else and what they want. Stop living for other people and their opinions. Be true to yourself. You are the only person in charge of your life. The only question is: What do you want to do with the rest of it?
Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is great. – Our goal shouldn’t be to create a perfect life, but to live an imperfect life in radical amazement. To get up every morning and take and good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is extraordinary. Every day is a gift. Never treat life casually. To be spiritual in any way is to be amazed in every way.
It’s okay to have down days. – Expecting life to be wonderful all the time is wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only rise up and never come crashing down. However, when you recognize that the rising and crashing waves are part of the exact same ocean, you are able to let go and be at peace with the reality of these ups and downs. It becomes clear that life’s ups require life’s downs.
Even when I’m struggling, I have so much to be grateful for. – What if you awoke today with only the things you were thankful for yesterday? We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of appreciating everything we do have. Stress thrives when your worry list is longer than your gratitude list. Happiness thrives when your gratitude list is longer than your worry list. So find something to be thankful for right now.
Every experience is just another important lesson. – Disappointments and failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to success. So don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. When things go wrong, learn what you can and then push the tragedies and mistakes aside. Remember, life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. We must fail in order to know, and hurt in order to grow. Good things often fall apart so better things can fall together in their place.
Not everything is meant to stay. – Change can be terrifying, yet all positive growth and healing requires change. Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye. Because the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. Be strong when everything seems to be going wrong, keep taking small steps, and eventually you will find what you’re looking for. Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it.
Being wrong is the first step to being right. – Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places. To be creative and productive in life, you must first lose your fear of being wrong. And remember, a fear like this can only survive inside you if you let it live there.
I do not need to hold on to what’s holding me back. – You are not what has happened to you; you are what you choose to become. It’s time to break the beliefs and routines that have been holding you back. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer grows you. Listen to your intuition, not your ego. When you stop chasing the wrong beliefs, you give the right ideas a chance to catch you.
My happiness today is simply the result of my thinking. – Happiness starts with you – not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but WITH YOU. It is not always easy to find happiness in ourselves, but it is always impossible to find it elsewhere. Regardless of the situation you face, your attitude is your choice. Remember, you can’t have a positive life with a negative attitude. When negativity controls your thoughts, it limits your behavior, actions, and opportunities. If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would try your best to never think another negative thought again.
Who I spend quality time with matters.– Surround yourself with people who lift you higher – those who see the great potential in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself.
Drama and judgments are a waste of perfect happiness. – Make a promise to yourself. Promise to stop the drama before it begins, to breathe deeply and peacefully, and to love others and yourself without conditions. Promise to laugh at your own mistakes, and to realize that no one is perfect; we are all human. Feelings of self-worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible.
Most people are judging me far less than it seems. – The truth is, while you’re busy worrying about what others think of you, they’re busy worrying about what you think of them. Crazy? Yes, but true. The good news is this knowledge instantly frees you to let loose and do more of what YOU want. And while doing so, you’ll also liberate others to do the same.
I can make the world a happier place. – Do your best to help one person every day in some small way. By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer, we often find the answers to our own. When the people around us are happier, it’s a lot easier to smile.
The work is worth it. – Lose the expectation that everything in life should be easy. It rarely is. In fact, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going. Enjoy the challenge of your achievements. See the value in your efforts and be patient with yourself. And realize that patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams. It’s knowing deep down that the work is well worth it in the end.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

5 life lessons people learn too late

1. This moment is your life. – Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death. Your life is between now and your next breath. The present – the here and now – is all the life you ever get. So live each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear and regret. And do the best you can with what you have in this moment; because that is all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself.

2. A lifetime isn’t very long. – This is your life, and you’ve got to fight for it. Fight for what’s right. Fight for what you believe in. Fight for what’s important to you. Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you. Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance. So stop for a moment and think. Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today. There are only so many tomorrows.

3. The sacrifices you make today will pay dividends in the future. – When it comes to working hard to achieve a dream – earning a degree, building a business, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment – one thing you have to ask yourself is: “Am I willing to live a few years of my life like many people won’t, so I can spend the rest of my life like many people can’t?”.

4. You are your most important relationship.– Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without feeling the need for anyone else’s approval. You must first have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with others. You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes, so that you’ll be able to look confidently into the eyes of the people around you and connect with them.

5. Behind every beautiful life, there has been some kind of pain. – You trip and you fall, you make mistakes and you fail, but you stand strong through it all – you live and you learn. You’re human, not perfect. You've been wounded, not defeated. Think of what a priceless gift it is to grow through these experiences – to breathe, to think, to struggle, and to overcome challenges in the pursuit of the things you love. Yes, sometimes you will encounter heartache along the way, but that’s a small price to pay for immeasurable moments of love and joy. Which is why you must keep stepping forward even when it hurts, because you know the inner strength that has carried you this far can carry you the rest of the way.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

7 little mistakes that steal your happiness

1. Ignoring what you CAN control.

Enormous freedom and power will be yours the minute you start seeing yourself on the cause side of the “cause and effect” equation. Your thoughts and behaviors are creating your reality. Every move you make matters. You are in charge of your thinking, which also means you are in charge of your actions and results.

What you focus on and put energy into every day will determine the results you produce in life. Embracing this philosophy is the secret to being in control of your destiny. Yes, occasionally something will happen that’s outside your control, but rolling with it, rather than against it, will produce the best possible results. In other words, it is not always what happens to you, but how you respond to what happens to you that matters most.

So no matter what happens, be intentional and do your best. You won’t enjoy your life if you don’t enjoy your challenges. When things go wrong, instead of blaming the world, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” and “What’s the next best step I can take from here?”

Think this way and your personal growth is guaranteed.

2. Worrying about what you CAN’T control.

You can control a lot in your life, but sometimes finding true freedom means knowing what you absolutely can’t change, or understanding what constraints you have to work within to build the life you want.

Entrepreneurs are widely known for being innovative, which is all about finding creative ways to bust through constraints. When this happens, it appears as though the impossible becomes possible.

“Constraints inspire creativity” is the credo of Twitter Founder Jack Dorsey. Finding freedom through constraints is all about accepting the things you can’t change, and then finding creative ways around these obstacles.

You might have an absolute need to make money to pay your bills – let’s call that a “constraint” – but you can be creative about the way you make that money. If you’re going to be totally free and happy with your chosen life path, you have to worry less about the things you have no control over (the need for money), so you can focus your creative efforts on what you CAN control (the source of income you choose to create).

3. Believing someone else’s definition of success.

Define success for yourself. You don’t need to measure up to other people’s benchmarks. The psychological root of most unhappiness lies in external validation, which happens when you try to measure your self-worth based on the opinions of others.

It’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts. You, and only you, get to decide what kind of life you want to live. Other people’s goals and expectations don’t matter that much in the long-run. Never forget that.

When you become “the master of your own fate,” you get to choose what that fate is. You might want a jet-set glamorous lifestyle, or you may just crave peace, quiet and security. In any case, it’s a good thing that the seven billion humans on this planet all don’t want precisely the same thing in life. So decide what your heart really yearns for and commit to living for that, and little else. Let your intuition guide you.

4. Assuming you have to accept everything just the way it is.

People and situations often look to YOU to set the example of what is and isn’t acceptable to you. Be crystal clear. And be ruthless about what you won’t accept in your life.

I meet a lot of super successful entrepreneurs. The happiest and most enlightened all have one thing in common: They know what they DON’T want, and they don’t tolerate any of it if they don’t have to.

It’s time for you to start being decisive about what you want in your life. Who do you want to spend time with? What type of information do you want to fill your mind with? What type of environment do you want to be in?

You need to decide what standards you are going to set for yourself. Then, you need to enforce them. If you settle for just anything, you will never know what you’re truly worthy of. Love and respect yourself enough to never lower your standards for the wrong reasons.

5. Giving up as soon as the going gets tough.

When you listen to intuition and commit to a life path that is unique to your desires, you’re likely choosing the path less traveled. This means there are going to be substantial obstacles in your way at times, and sometimes it’ll seem almost impossible to continue.

You must persevere! Always take another step.

Life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to push forward even when times are tough.

What you do when the going gets tough matters far more than what you do when everything is going smoothly. It’s how you respond to the hard times that wins you true, untethered freedom and happiness. So keep your head up and remember, your soul is “unconquerable.”

6. Taking yourself, other people, and life too seriously every second.

Ever meet someone who seemed so uptight they were about to burst – as if every little thing happening to them was a huge concern? Don’t be that person. Don’t take yourself and everything you encounter so seriously. A few things in life – like your personal freedom, safety, and your loved ones – truly matter. But most life circumstances (especially problems) are fleeting and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Not sweating the small stuff is an important step on the path to freedom and happiness. Life is just an experiment – an experience. Get too attached to the seriousness of it all, and even after you’ve conquered your goals, you won’t even enjoy them.

As Marc said in one of his recent posts, “Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. Then let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.”

7. Defaulting to friendships that aren’t lifting you higher.

Find other people who “get it” – people who truly get YOU. You may be the captain of your own ship, but the ocean doesn’t have to be a lonely place.

It’s almost impossible to succeed, or find freedom and happiness, when you’re totally isolated. The smartest entrepreneurs and lifestyle renegades always surround themselves with the right people. You should do the same.

Instead of connecting with people by default simply because they live next door, or work in the same office, or whatever, start looking for friends that connect with YOU at a deeper level of ideology. Do they have the same values as you? Do they embrace the same philosophies you do? Do they value freedom, love and fulfillment?

Bottom line: Saying “no” to the wrong (or default) people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right people and the right opportunities in life.

Afterthoughts

The solutions to these seven common mistakes provide a rough overview of what it takes to be a freethinker – a happier, enlightened soul. Many entrepreneurs embody these values, but my real point is that no matter who you are and what you currently do for a living, you can think this way too.

When you’re “the master of your fate” and “the captain of your soul,” you can live the life you have always imagined for yourself.

Out of the night

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Friday, February 7, 2014

15 things that emotionally strong people don't do

There is a particular aspect of mental strengththat is the deciding factor of whether or not you will have a good life. There are many levels to mental strength and all are needed to be successful and happy. The one particular area of mental strength that has the greatest impact is that of emotional strength.

Emotions are, of course, a part of our psyche, yet nevertheless, can be distinguished from the remainder of mental qualities because they most directly influence our physical body. They affect the way our body functions and they drive every single one of our actions. Without emotion, we would have no reason to act, to do anything with ourselves.

Emotions are our greatest motivators. Unfortunately, they can motivate us to act in any direction, even the wrong one. For this reason, emotional strength is essential. There are countless situations that emotionally strong people avoid and many actions they never take. Here are 15 of them:

1. They Don’t Beg For Attention

Needing attention is directly linked to emotion. Those who feel the need for recognition only find themselves experiencing feelings of worth when others make them feel needed; it’s as if these people are uncertain of their value, or if they have any ounce of self-worth. Feeling unsure of your worth is a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you don’t know you matter, then no one will ever believe you do.

2. They Don’t Allow Others To Bring Them Down

Emotional strength requires resilience. This world is filled with haters and trolls. There are jealous eyes lurking around every corner. The unfortunate truth is that often the people who hold us back the most are those closest to us. Getting rid of these people is often the best solution, but also the most difficult. If you can quietly remove these people from your life, that’s one fewer bridge burned and much less of an emotional trigger.

3. They Don’t Hold Grudges

If you’re holding a grudge, then you already care more about a situation than you should. If a person apologizes genuinely, forgive him or her. If this person doesn’t apologize, then don’t interact with him or her, but don’t hold grudges. People with whom you seek to alienate and hold grudges against take up too much of your mental energy, doing more harm than good.

4. They Never Stop Doing Their Own Thing

Emotionally strong individuals do what they do because they love doing it. They don’t plan on slowing down or stopping for anyone who deems their happiness inappropriate.

5. They Never Stop Believing In Themselves

Those who love themselves and understand themselves — those who aren’t afraid or proud to be themselves — never doubt themselves. You amount to your own self-worth, not a shilling more.

6. They Don’t Act Like Bitches Or Assh*les

People are mean. But we wonder, why? Being a jerk is only good as an intimidation factor, and if you’re trying to intimidate people, then you better be a negotiator by profession; if you’re intimidating just for the sake of it, you’re obviously overcompensating for a lack of confidence. Do you also drive a very large automobile, perhaps? I hear they make pills for that.

7. They Know Better Than To Let Just Anyone Into Their Lives

The emotionally strong are emotionally strong for a reason: They don’t expose themselves to people who break down their defenses and crush their morale. Most people in the world are lost and will be more than happy to take you along with them. Don’t let an awful acquaintance ruin your happiness.

8. They Aren’t Afraid To Love

If you’re afraid to love, you don’t have enough confidence in yourself. You obviously think you can’t be in a lasting relationship, but only in one that is doomed for disaster. You don’t want to get hurt again because getting hurt really sucks. There is no reason for you to get your heart broken again because you are awesome. If things don’t work out, it’s not you. It’s the two of you together. Unless, of course, you are an awful human being; in that case, it is you.

9. They Don’t Lie In Bed Dreading The Day Ahead Of Them

The best part of your day should be the moment you wake up and realize you’re still alive. We take life for granted too regularly.

10. They’re Not Afraid Of Slowing Down

Emotionally strong people aren’t in need of constant action and excitement. They don’t need to run around all day and keep moving in order to avoid their demons. They appreciate a slow moment because it brings them closer to what it feels like to do nothing but living, breathing. This is not to say that they don’t enjoy excitement in their lives, but they aren’t junkies and are more than happy to just go for a walk and smell the roses.

11. They Don’t Do Things They Don’t Want To Do

We all do things that we don’t love to do, but we should never do things that we don’t want to do. The emotionally strong understand that and almost always manage to figure out a way to focus on what they love, which allows them to figure out what they need to do, in order to do what they love. Although they may not love every second of it, they like doing what they are doing because it’s bringing them one step closer to what they would love to do.

12. They Have No Problem Saying “No”

If you can’t say “no,” you will get abused. You’ll be considered a pushover and no one will ever ask you for your opinion or take it seriously when you give it. Saying “no” reminds people that they don’t have control over you.

13. They Don’t “Forget” To Give Back

We’re not too busy or too poor to donate our money and/or time. We don’t forget, either. Some people just choose to ignore our responsibilities as human beings. The stronger you are emotionally, the more you come to appreciate others and life itself. You give life more worth and you begin to empathize with those who were dealt a bad hand.

14. They Don’t Feel The Need To Fit In

The stronger you are emotionally, the more independent you become. You don’t feel the need to fit in because you fit in where it matters: the world. People form smaller social groups that are often skewed and unhealthy. Wanting to fit in doesn’t say much more than “I’m afraid to be myself.”

15. They Don’t Forget That Happiness Is A Decision

Most importantly, the emotionally strong have learned to understand the power their brains have over both the mind and body. They understand that emotions are reactions, not reactions to direct physical causes, but to the way we perceive those causes. In other words, our emotions don’t reflect reality; rather, our emotions reflect the way we interpret reality. Understanding this gives us near-full control of our emotions and, therefore, our lives.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

25 Things You Need to Stop Wasting Time On

Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Pay attention to the little things, because when you really miss someone you miss the little things the most, like just laughing together. Go for long walks. Indulge in great conversations. Count your mutual blessings. Let go for a little while and just BE together.
Compulsive busyness. – Schedule time every day to not be busy. Have dedicated downtime – clear points in the day to reflect, rest, and recharge. Don’t fool yourself; you’re not so busy that you can’t afford a few minutes of sanity.
Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is like a mirror; we get the best results when we smile. So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.
The needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.
The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but remember this: There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now. The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for. Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.
Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness. You could spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but it wouldn’t get you anything.
Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You’re always growing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life.
Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – It’s OK if you mess up; that’s how you get wiser. Give yourself a break. Don’t give up. Great things take time, and you’re getting there. Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses. Decide right now that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your future.
Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. – Don’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you; they do things because of them. You honestly can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.
Self-deception. – Your life will improve only when you take small chances. And the first and most difficult chance you can take is to be honest with yourself.
A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays. Success in life is for those who are excited about where they are going. It’s about walking comfortably in your own shoes, in the direction of YOUR dreams.
Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. – You simply can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations.
Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue. Give as much as you can, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.
Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s perfectly OK. No matter how you live, someone will be disappointed. So just live your truth and be sure YOU aren’t the one who is disappointed in the end.
All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a feeling, not a fact. The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to do what you’re afraid to do. Dare to change and grow. In the end, there is only one thing that makes a dream completely impossible to achieve: Lack of action based on the fear of failure.
Doubting and second-guessing yourself.– When in doubt just take the next small step. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.
People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to be lonely than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your destiny. Don’t let others crush your dreams. Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their negativity again.
Thinking the perfect time will come. – You can’t always wait for the perfect moment. Sometimes you must dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.
Band-Aids and temporary fixes. – You can’t change what you refuse to confront. You can’t find peace by avoiding things. Deal with problems directly before they deal with your happiness.
Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your mouth. Don’t hate what you don’t know. The mind is like a parachute; it doesn’t work when it’s closed.
Other people’s mistakes and oversights.– Today, be tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn’t mean they’re bad; it simply means they are human.
Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor forgiveness for acceptance. It’s about knowing that resentment is not on the path to happiness. Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re weak. You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes.
Any hateful thoughts at all. – Set an example. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. Make kindness a daily ritual; it’s what makes life happier and more fulfilling in the long run.
Regrets of any kind. – You don’t have to be defined by the things you once did or didn’t do. Don’t let yourself be controlled by regret. Maybe there’s something you could have done differently, or maybe not. Either way, it’s merely something that has already happened. Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you give yourself to the present moment.
Every point in time other than right now. – Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress too much about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Do your best to live NOW and make this moment worth living.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

9 signs you're going to die happy

1. You are 100%, unapologetically yourself, every day.

Where’s your will to be weird? Where’s your resolution to be real?

Truth be told, it’s not weird to be weird. Everybody is weird in some way. You must celebrate your individuality and not be embarrassed of it. If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t be ashamed and don’t change. Uniqueness is priceless. In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to be your remarkable self.

One of the most influential sources of both peace and happiness is simply being comfortable with who you really are. Not trading your reality for a role, or your truth for an act. Not giving up your freedom of thought. Not putting on a mask. There simply cannot be peace and happiness in your external life until you are at peace within yourself, being yourself. It won’t always be easy, but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning your inner truth.

Being unapologetically YOU is worth it!

2. You are walking a path that makes you feel alive.

Today, work to create a life that feels right to YOU, not one that looks right to everyone else. Your worst inner battle will always be between what you know and what you feel. One of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and try harder or when to just take your memories and move on. Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are.

Your life is your message to the world; make sure it’s inspiring. Allow yourself more moments of awe and wonder and passion and grace. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you. And don’t let them dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes.

If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world. Dare to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if some people disagree.

3. You always do your very best.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. Decide the work is worth the end result. The saddest summary of a life is just five words long: “Could have and should have.” Yes, sometimes life seems hard, but we often make it harder than it is. All you ever have to decide is what to do next. It really is this simple.

Say it out loud: “I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. I will be who I am tomorrow because of the choices I make today.” Instead of complaining about your circumstances, get busy creating new ones. You either suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

4. You fully embrace reality, even when it hurts.

It’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. The truth will always set you free, but first, it may tick you off for a while. So don’t sweat the small stuff. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. Then let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

Letting go is often a step forward. Sometimes you have to walk away from what you thought you wanted to find what you truly need and deserve. Sometimes you just have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what remains, do the best you can, and look forward to what’s coming next.

Remember, faith isn’t the belief that life will always give you what you want. It’s the belief that life will gradually reveal what’s right.

5. You work through your fears.

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be lived and learned. Now is the time to live and learn more, so that you may fear less, and live even more. Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must get hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.

Running from fear is a race you’ll never win. In fact, what you’re afraid of dealing with is what will set you free. So don’t let your fear decide for you. Don’t let it shut you down; let it wake you up. Take chances, follow your intuition, and get excited. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is often worse than the suffering itself.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Don’t ever hesitate to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being.

6. You roll with life, instead of against it.

Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are. Just do your very best. Appreciate each step. Forget the rest.

We often forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of deeply appreciating what we do have. So stop looking for reasons to be unhappy. Focus on the things you do have and the reasons you should be happy. Positivity changes everything. A happy person is not a person who’s always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation.

Someday you will realize that life is like an ocean. It can be calm and serene or rough and wild, but in the end it’s always beautiful to those willing to ride the waves.

7. You lift others up with your kindness.

Three things define you: Your patience when you have nothing, your attitude when you have everything, and who you help whenever you’re able.

Yes, it takes a great deal of strength to be gentle and kind, but you are much stronger than you think. Even when times are tough, be positive and go above and beyond for those who need you most. In a world full of people who couldn’t care less, be someone who couldn’t care more. Be someone who makes someone else look forward to tomorrow. Act like what you do today makes a difference. It does.

To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, the purpose of life is not just to be happy, but also to be helpful, to be honorable, to be kind and compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

8. You make plenty of time for the people you love.

When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger. This is the side effect of great relationships – we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths. So stay in close touch with those you care about – communicate openly on a regular basis. Not because it’s convenient, but because these people are worth the extra effort.

In the end, the best investment of your limited time on Earth will be to spend it with people you love. Although it’s perhaps conceivable that you may lie on your deathbed someday regretting that you didn’t work harder and check every little thing off your to-do list, it’s doubtful that your work will be your biggest concern. What’s more likely, however, is that you will wish you could have one more romantic night with your spouse, another long, heartfelt talk with your sister, and one last good hard laugh with your best friend.

Life is too short to be too busy for the people you love.

9. You pause at least once a day to appreciate what you have.

We are born in one moment. We die in one moment. Life changes every moment. Anything can happen in just one moment. Make your moments count by noticing them. Do not constantly allow your spirit to be softened or your happiness to be limited by a time and place you cannot get back or a day that does not yet exist. Live today with eyes wide open.

Wisdom is not just knowing when to stand up and make moves, but when to sit still and be present. It’s knowing your full presence is never a waste of time. Certain things in life simply have to be experienced mindfully, and cannot be explained. The immaculate beauty of NOW is such a thing.

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our attention and gratitude. How often do you pause to appreciate your life and everyone and everything in it? How often do you stop dead in your tracks, just to take a deep breath and smile?

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Be the happiest version of yourself

Sometimes wellness can feel like a chore. Don’t get me wrong — I love cooking with coconut oil, while sipping my ashwagandha tea and rolling out the yoga mat. But it can take a lot of discipline to get there every day.

Sometimes we just don’t have time to meditate for hours, or add another workout into our mix. And, on top of everything else, it can be hard to keep up with the latest fads in wellness.

Sometimes we need to get back to the basics and keep it simple. Here are eight simple things you can do every day to become the happiest version of yourself — without breaking the bank or cramming two more hours into your day:

1. Always be reading a book.

Even if you only have 20 minutes a day to dedicate to reading, do it. Find time on the bus or train, or at night before bed. Even an audio book for quick car rides works. It doesn’t have to be lofty literature or self-help. Any book will do. Just make sure to start a new book whenever you finish one. It will make you more interesting, expand your viewpoint, and teach you something new every day.

2. Do at least one thing that terrifies you.

Whether it’s applying for a job you “couldn’t possibly get” or asking someone out for dinner, always find a way to challenge yourself. It will keep you constantly growing. When you’re afraid, it teaches you how to be fearless. When you’re accomplished, it reminds you to be humble.

3. Be completely vulnerable with one person.

It doesn’t have to be the same person every day. You can choose your mother, then your significant other, then your best friend. Just completely let your guard downand let someone in. It will remind you that everything about you is beautiful, even the “ugly” parts, and that you deserve to be loved for your strengths and your weakness. It will also teach you how to let love in and to love yourself.

4. Drop one thing from your life that you don’t love.

Each day, let go of one person, task, or object that you don’t love in your life, even if it’s as simple as those curtains that were never your style. Everything you own and everyone you associate with should be a reflection of you. If you keep anything in your life that you don’t love, it’s stopping you from loving your life entirely. Plus, dumping the dirt is just good feng shui.

5. Take a step in the direction of your dreams.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a tiny step. It doesn’t even matter what the step is. Don’t measure magnitude; just measure direction. If you take one small step toward your dreams every single day, you’ll be 365 steps closer to achieving what you want by the end of the year.

6. Spend 30 minutes by yourself.

Find 30 minutes to spend on just yourself. Maybe it’s getting a massage or meditating. Maybe it’s as simple as a cup of tea. Or, better yet, you could double up and make it your time to read. Whatever you choose, just let yourself know that you are worth spending 30 minutes with every day. And fight for its spot on your calendar as ardently as you would for a work meeting.

7. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself.

You are so blessed to be who you are. And you don’t know how much time you have left with yourself. So don’t let a day go by that you don’t say “I love you” to yourself — even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

8. Be amazed by someone, and tell them.

There’s no shortage of amazing things people do. From voluntarily doing the dishes to writing beautiful poetry to just making you laugh, people are full of amazing qualities. So find a reason to be amazed by someone, and let them know they amazed you. At the very least, you’ll make someone’s day. And that’s not a bad thing to do every day of your life.