10 Things You Need to Say Before it’s Too Late

1. “I love you.” – Love rarely ever knows it’s own depth until it’s taken away.  So don’t wait around.  If you appreciate someone today, tell them.  If you love someone today, show them.  Hearts are often confused and broken by thoughtful words left unspoken, and loving deeds left undone.  There might not be a tomorrow.  Today is the day to express your love and admiration.
2. “Thank you.” – For my 17th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four used flannel shirts he no longer needed.  The shirts were barely worn and in flawless condition, and my grandfather told me he thought they would look great on me.  Sadly, I thought they were an odd gift at the time and I wasn’t thankful.  I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me.  My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack.  The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me.  I regret the small thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa.  That’s so thoughtful of you.”
3. “I am a good person who is worthy of my own love and respect.” – Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness… but not loneliness.  It is the worst of all agonies.  And what’s the worst kind of loneliness?  The kind you can’t escape – when you are uncomfortable with yourself.  The truth is, a partner, or even just a friend, can add lots of beauty to your life, but they can’t fill a void that exists within you.  You alone are responsible for you own fulfillment.  If you feel hopelessly lonely whenever you’re alone, it means you’re in bad company.  It means you need to work on your relationship with yourself first.
4. “I can’t always win, but I can always learn and grow.” – Don’t confuse poor decision-making with your destiny.  Own your mistakes.  It’s OK; we all make them.  Learn from life experiences so they can empower you!  What we call our destiny is really just our character, and that character can be enriched.  The knowledge that you are responsible for your actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging either, because it means you are free to change your destiny.  Yes, the past has shaped your feelings and perspectives, but all this can be altered if you have the courage to reexamine how it formed you.  You can always alter your chemistry provided you have the courage to dissect your elements.
5. “It’s time to do something positive.” – The next time you have the urge to complain, stop and ask yourself what it is you truly want.  Do you just want to complain or do you want toimprove your situation?  Somewhere within each complaint is a genuine desire to improve things, but the complaint by itself is never enough to make it happen.  So make the choice not to aggravate a bad situation with your complaints.  Choose instead to improve it with your positive thoughts, ideas and actions.
6. “I CAN do this!” – The obstacle is never enough to stop you.  What stops you is your belief that you can’t get past the obstacle.  The problem is not that you have too much of this or too little of that.  The problem is, you’re waiting for perfect conditions that don’t exist.  The achievements that really occur in life, take place in reality.  The things that really get done, get done in an imperfect world.  Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done.  Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen.  There will always be challenges.  And there will always be things you can do to grow beyond them.
7. “Their drama is NOT mine to deal with.”– Honestly, you can’t save most people from themselves, so don’t get sucked too deep into their drama.  Those who make perpetual chaos of their lives won’t appreciate you interfering with the commotion they’ve created, anyway.  They want your “poor baby” sympathy, but they don’t want to change.  They don’t want their lives fixed by YOU.  They don’t want their problems solved, their emotional addictions and distractions taken away, their stories resolved, or their messes cleaned up.  Because what would they have left?  They don’t know and they aren’t ready to know yet.  And it’s not your job to tell them.
8. “I’m sorry.” – In this life, when you deny someone an apology, you remember doing so when you find yourself begging for forgiveness.  And if often happens just like that.  Why?  Because guilt festers.  Don’t do this to yourself.  An apology is the best way to have the last word.  The first to apologize is the strongest, and the first to move forward is the happiest.  Always.  And of course, don’t bother apologizing if you’re just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for.  Say it and mean it.  Look the person in the eyes when you say it, and feel it in your bones.
9. “I forgive you.” – A broken relationship that is mended through forgiveness can be even stronger than it once was.  But, of course, this isn’t always the case.  So remember that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily lead to healed relationships.  That’s not the point.  Some relationships aren’t meant to be.  Forgive anyway, for your own sake, and then let what’s meant to be, BE.  Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed, and progress can never be made.  What happened in the past is just one chapter.  Don’t close the book; just turn the page.
10. “Life right now is pretty darn good.” – Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness.  Don’t be one of them.  Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been.  The good life begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one.

9 Things Happy Couples Never Think

1.  “My relationship with THEM will solve all MY problems.”

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.  If you’re not comfortable enough with your own inner truth when entering a relationship, then you’re not ready for that relationship.  Because you are incapable of loving another unless you love yourself, just as you are incapable of teaching someone else something unless you yourself understand it.

Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of someone else loving you.

2.  “We should be the center of each other’s universe.”

A good relationship happens when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and encourage each other’s future, without trying to micromanage any of part it.  So don’t rush relationships, especially those that feel overbearing.  Find a partner, and friends for that matter, who encourage you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.  And always pay them the same courtesy.  This is what true love and real friendship is all about, and it’s always worth waiting for.

3.  “Good relationships are always easygoing.”

Wrong…  Good relationships require work.  Good relationships require sacrifice and compromise.  True love in both dating relationships and marriages are not about being there when it’s convenient, these relationships are about being there when it’s not.  Even if you can’t seem to walk that mile in your partner’s shoes, you are still capable of walking beside them to be a supporter until the day they learn to smile again.

4.  “I need to do whatever it takes to be loved.”

Sometimes we try to show the world that we are flawless in hopes that we will be loved and accepted more.  But we can’t please the people we love by being someone other than who we are, and we shouldn’t try.  Loving someone should not mean losing YOU.  True love empowers you, it doesn’t erase you.

The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our sincerity, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections.  When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of perfect, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.  Thus, happy couples accept each other just the way they are.  There is no need to put on a mask.  There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not.  You are more than enough just by being YOU.

5.  “Forgiveness isn’t necessary.”

Whoever said revenge is sweet never tasted the sweetness of forgiveness.

Love is living your own life, but sharing it.  And this requires constant forgiveness.  It’s making a million mistakes and turning them into learning experiences.  Love is patience, optimism, and sometimes it’s a simple hug when there is nothing left to say.

But remember, forgiveness isn’t just for your current happy relationships.  You have to forgive your past failed relationships too.  Yes, that’s right, you have to forgive them.  You don’t have to like them, you don’t have to be friends with them, you don’t have to spend time with them ever again, but you have to forgive – to let go, to let it rest, to let bygones be bygones.  By not forgiving you are forcing yourself to carry bricks from your past relationship failures forward with you into all your present and future relationship interactions.  And by doing this, you inevitably build the same flawed relationship structures that fell apart before.

6.  “I don’t have time for them today.”

If you neglect your relationship, your relationship will neglect you too.  So realize that today will never come again.  Be a blessing.  Be a friend.  Be there for the one who matters most.  Make a difference.  Take time to care.  Tell your significant other how special they are.  Do something that encourages a smile and a brighter day.  By doing so, you will not only help them, you will help yourself too.  Because when you seek to inspire happiness in someone close to you, you will not only find it, you will become it.

7.  “They should change for me.”

The biggest mistake is believing there is only one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation, or to have a relationship.

The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated as is.  Sometimes we try to be sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image of what we want them to be – what we think we need, love, or desire.  But these actions and perceptions are against reality, against their benefit and ours, and always end in disappointment – because it does not fit them.  The beginning of love is to let those we care about be perfectly themselves, and not to distort them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves that we see in them.

8.  “It’s just easier if I keep my feelings to myself right now.”

There is no day but today.  Say what you need to say.  Share your love openly and honestly with your other half, right now.

Realize that, no matter what, you’re going to lose important people in your life.  No matter how much time you spend with someone, or how much you appreciate them, sometimes it will never seem like you had enough time together.  So don’t learn this lesson the hard way.  Express your love.  Tell the one you love what you need to tell them.  Don’t shy away from important conversations because you feel awkward or uncomfortable.  You never know when you might lose your opportunity for good.  

9.  “All relationships can and should be fixed and maintained.”

It may sound harsh, but not every couple was meant to be a couple.  And that’s OK.  It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.

Although not all relationships are meant to be, there are no failed relationships, because every person in your life has a lesson to teach. Sometimes you simply outgrow people.  Sometimes you just have to accept it and move on.  Do what you can, but don’t kill yourself trying to fix the unfixable.

When someone leaves your life, it’s important to emotionally release them.  Know in your heart that it’s not an ending – it’s a new beginning.  It just means that their part in your story is over.  Your story will go on…

Think about it.  How many people don’t get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with?

12 Rituals Happy, Successful People Practice Every Day

1.  Exercise your integrity.

Living with integrity means:  Not settling for less than what you are capable of.  Communicating clearly and asking for what you want and need from people.  Speaking your truth, even when others judge you for it.  Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your morals and values.  Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.  And, of course, always doing the right thing, even when it’s hard, and even when nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.

2.  Steer clear of drama and those who create it.

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the needless drama and the people who create it.  Staying out of other people’s drama is an incredibly effective way to stress less and smile more.

A good rule of thumb: If you can’t say it to their face, you shouldn’t say it behind their back.  As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”  Life is much too short to waste time talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up drama that has no substance.  If you don’t know, ask.  If you don’t agree, say so.  If you don’t like it, speak up.  But never judge people behind their back.

3.  Replace judgment with encouragement.

No one truly knows what they will do in a certain situation until they are actually in it.  Yes, it’s very easy to judge someone else’s actions by what you assume your own actions would be if you were in their shoes.  But you only know what you THINK you would do, not what you WOULD do.

The truth is, we tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our ideals.  So do your best to catch yourself when this happens.  Remember that when we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person, and everything about our own need to be critical.

Bottom line:  We have enough critics in this world.  Be an encourager.  You’ll see why.

4.  Be positive and spend time with positive people.

Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.  Raise your awareness to your own inner strength and positivity.  You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life.  You can either give negativity power over your life, or you can choose to be positive instead by focusing on the great things that are truly important.  So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.  Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some kind of worthy struggle to get there.

In addition, do your best to spend more time with positive people and less time with negative ones.  People that deliberately doubt, judge and disrespect you are not worth your long-term time and attention.

5.  Make new choices as needed, rather than letting old ones make you.

You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who and what hurts you.  After all, who we ultimately become depends, in part, on who and what we let into our lives.  So don’t just settle for relationships and situations that have proven to be unworthy. 

Be the hero of your life, not the victim.  You may not control all the circumstances that happen to you, but you can decide not to be continuously reduced by the same ones.

6.  Simplify whatever you can, whenever you can.

As E.F. Schumacher once said, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.  It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.”

Simplifying is not seeing how little you can get by with – that’s poverty – but how efficiently you can put first things first, and use your time accordingly to pursue the things that make a lasting difference in your life.  Less really is more.  Instead of adding, improve your life by subtracting.  Get rid of unnecessary clutter, negative influences and toxic relationships.  There is a big difference between what you want and what you need – between what’s excessive and what’s essential.

7.  Uphold your truth.

Too many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths.  But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.  Especially if this lie is tied to your identity in any way.  Because you can pretend for a while, but you can’t get away from yourself.  You can’t decide not to see and feel yourself anymore.  You can’t decide to turn off the noise in your head and be someone else entirely.

Don’t try to be what “they” like – be who you are.  The people worth spending time with are interested in others who are confident enough to be themselves.  And that works out well, because you won’t be happy being anyone else.

8.  Express your love without reservations.

Love is a verb.  Act on it.  Today, be the reason someone feels incredibly loved and needed.  Give your love away like your life depends on it.

Many moons from now, people won’t remember what clothes you wore, the car you drove, and maybe not even your name.  But they will remember how you made them feel and the positive memories you gave them.  The true impact you make on people will depend on the time and attention you give to teaching those who know less, caring for those who have less, supporting those who are striving, and tolerating those who are different than you.  All of which represent the full expression of your love.

9.  Nurture your relationship with your significant other.

Intimate love is not just about finding the right person, but working with them to create the right relationship.  It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build and nurture until the end.  A relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat and positive.  It should make your smile a little wider and your life a little brighter in the long run.

A relationship like this sounds great, but it isn’t easy.  It takes time and attention, and two people who are willing to work together every day to build something special.

10.  Loosen your grip on what’s not meant to fit in to your life.

Things will happen that you will not always understand, but maybe you’re not supposed to understand everything.  Maybe you’re just supposed to have faith, accept it and let it happen.

So never force anything.  Give it your best shot, and then let it be.

Most negative circumstances are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them.  Positive things happen in your life when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things.  So stop holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right.  Don’t let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.

11.  Embrace your humanness.

“Human” is the only real label we are born with.  Yet we forget so easily.

To become attached to an opinionated label of depressed, divorced, diseased, rejected, or poor, is to be like the rain, that doesn’t know it is also the clouds… or the ice, that forgets it is water.  For we are far more than the shape we’re currently in.  And we, like the wind, water, and sky, will change forms many times in our lives, while forever remaining beautifully human.

12.  Ask yourself the right questions.

Voltaire once said, “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”  This is such sound advice, because if you keep asking yourself the wrong questions, you will never get an answer you like.

What questions are you asking yourself?  Are they helping you better understand your purpose?  Or do they have your mind spinning in circles?

Truth be told, the questions you’re regularly exposed to act as guideposts that have a powerful influence on the direction of your life.  And, not surprisingly, the questions you hear most often come directly from YOU.  So instead of looking outside yourself for answers, start asking yourself the right questions.  For instance…

• “Who am I?”
• “What do I need?”
• “How do I function best?”
• “What do I have to give?”
• “What’s the next step I can take right now?”

It’s all about self-inquiries that help you stay true to your principles, pursue your desires, grow through adversity, and add value to the world around you.

20 Questions that Will Free Your Mind from Negativity

1. What could you be grateful for and positive about right now, if you really wanted to? – Your greatest weapon against stress and negativity is your ability to choose one thought over another.  Happiness escapes from those who refuse to see the good in what they have.  When life gives you every reason to be negative, think positive.
2. What’s one problem you’re thankful you don’t have? – Smile right now; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have, and all the problems you know you don’t have.
3. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of? – Oftentimes holding on actually makes us weaker, and letting go builds our strength.  Does that thing you were extremely upset about six months ago, or last year, really matter now?  I bet it doesn’t.  And if you’re still thinking about it, it’s not serving your best interests.
4. Who, or what, needs your forgiveness? – Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to healed relationships and situations.  Some relationships and situations aren’t meant to be.  Forgive anyway, and let what’s meant to be, BE.  Go ahead and set yourself free.  When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.  Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and break free.
5. What’s the right thing to do? – Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.  Just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s worth your while.  Do what’s right, not what’s easy.  It’s a far less stressful way to live.
6. What’s something nice you can do for someone else right now? – Do all the good you can, to as many people as you can, as often as you can.  No act of love and kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.  Good vibes always come back around.
7. What compliments have you received lately? – Remember, butterflies don’t know the color of their wings, but the human eyes know how beautiful they are.  Likewise, in the haste of your busy days, you likely don’t notice just how great you are, but others nearby still see that you are incredible.  When someone says something nice about you, it’s worth remembering.
8. What do you know you’re great at? – Although it’s nice to hear people compliment you, it’s not essential to your self-worth.  And if no one offers to give you a compliment, give yourself one.  You are GOOD enough, SMART enough and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you every minute; you are VALUABLE!  Notice your strengths, focus on them, and celebrate them.
9. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? – Truth be told, you can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t try.  Care less about what the haters say about you and smile more about what you know is true.  Live your life and be happy with yourself, without their negative judgments.  Practice listening to compliments and constructive criticism, and ignoring insults and negativity.  It’s far from easy, but it’s worth working on.
10. What activities help you feel most like yourself? – In other words, figure out what motivates you to grow into your most authentic self.  And remember that you can’t grow unless you’re willing to change.  But as you grow you’ll notice you don’t change much… you just become more of who YOU are.
11. What gets you excited about life? – Think… If you truly wanted to be excited right now, what could you get excited about?  Find it and focus on it more often.  When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows and it pays.  Success in life is for those who are excited about where they’re going.
12. What excuses do you need to stop making? – As George Washington once said, “It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  If you are good at making excuses, you will never be good at anything else.  No matter what the obstacles are that you see in front of you, the only thing truly standing between you and what you want is the excuse you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.
13. If you learn from your mistakes, why are you always so afraid to make a mistake?– If you want to do it right, make lots of mistakes and accept a great deal of discomfort along the way.  It might sound crazy, but it’s worth your while.  In life, mistakes make you smarter and discomfort makes you stronger.  Both are necessary growing pains.
14. When was the unexpected better than what you expected? – When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, “Plot twist!” and then do your best to adapt.  You won’t always get where you intended to go in life, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.
15. What do you now know better for next time? – Don’t let your fear of past events affect the outcome of your future.  Live for what today has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away.  There will always be obstacles, but we are confined most often by the walls we build ourselves.  What we see depends on how we look at it.  Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned.
16. What’s the next best step forward from here? – Every unwelcomed event, person or situation is really just a doorway into the next YOU.  A stronger, wiser YOU.
17. What’s priceless about this moment? – Step forward, but don’t rush.  Don’t completely waste the season of life you are in now, simply because you want the next one to begin.  There is always beauty waiting to be realized.  Notice the goodness happening around you right now, even if you have to look a little harder than usual.
18. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? – Relax.  You are enough.  You have enough.  You do enough.  Breathe extra deep, let go and just live right now in the moment.
19. Who do you need to spend less time with? – There are over seven billion people in the world right now; don’t let a handful of negative ones ruin your happiness.  No, you can’t choose every person you meet in life, butyou can choose who you spend your time with.  So be thankful for the people who walk into your life and make it better, but also be thankful for the freedom to walk away from the ones who don’t.
20. How have insignificant past rejections messed with your self-confidence? – Don’t let old rejections take up permanent residence in your head.  Kick them out on the street.  Realize that sometimes you have to try to do what you think you can’t do, so you realize that you actually CAN.  And sometimes it takes more than one attempt.  If ‘Plan A’ doesn’t work out, don’t fret; the alphabet has another 25 letters that would be happy to give you a chance to get it right.  The wrong choices usually bring us to the right places, eventually.  You just have to believe in your own potential to get there.

5 lies to unlearn before it's too late

1.  Success looks a certain way. – You are not in this world to live up to everyone else’s expectations, nor should you feel that everyone else is here to live up to yours.  You’ve got to pave your own distinct path.  What success means to each of us is different.  It’s about spending your life happily in your own way.  You have your own personal calling that’s as unique as your fingerprints.  The best way to succeed is to discover this calling within you and then find a way to offer it to the world in the form of a beneficial service.  Ultimately, if you can wake up every morning and do something that makes a positive difference, makes you proud, and makes you smile, before you get back to bed, you are a true success.

2.  To be brave is to not be afraid. – Truth be told, the only time you can be brave is when you are afraid.  Being brave is when you do something, regardless of your fears, because you know it’s the right thing to do.  In other words, you are afraid to do it because there are unknowns, but then you go ahead and do it anyway.  Whatever course you decide upon in life, there is always the possibility that something will go wrong.  There will always be difficulties arising that tempt you to fear that you don’t have what it takes.  To map out any course of action and follow it to an end requires bravery.

3.  To be strong is to not feel pain. – Life is often painful.  It requires a worthy struggle for growth and experience.  Anyone who says differently is selling a lie.  The strongest people are the ones who feel pain, accept it, learn from it, and fight through it.  They turn their wounds into wisdom.  It’s all about having the courage to take a break, to shed a tear, to dust yourself off, and then to get back in the ring to fight like you’ve never fought before.

4.  Everyone around you is holding you back. – The truth is, if you’re not working on something meaningful today, the only person holding you back is YOU.  If you aren’t doing anything about your goals and dreams, you have no one to blame except yourself.  Either you take responsibility for your life or someone else will.  Blame is a scapegoat – it’s an easy way out of taking accountability for your own outcome.  It’s a lot easier to point the finger at someone or something else instead of looking within.  When it comes to working hard to achieve a goal or dream – earning a degree, building a business, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment – one thing you have to ask yourself is:  “Am I willing to live a few years of my life like many people won’t, so I can spend the rest of my life like many people can’t?”

5.  It’s already too late. – Nothing is too late until your tired heart stops beating.  If you’re reading this right now, congratulations, you are alive, which means it’s not too late for you.  Things can change if you want them to, at any age.  Right now you can choose differently and make something new happen.  Your future is immediate.  Grab on to it with both hands and keep on moving on.  When you come up on a roadblock and are faced with the choice of sitting down and doing nothing or doing something to make further progress, choose the latter.  Think, work, and climb if you have to.  Move your life forward.